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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24765796">Fear of forgetting</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lxbra/pseuds/Lxbra'>Lxbra</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Arcana (Visual Novel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Character Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Mental Breakdown, Other, Sobbing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:28:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,934</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24765796</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lxbra/pseuds/Lxbra</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rosie and her friends have been trying desperately to figure out how to tell the palace Censor about her partners' unfortunate death and when they figure out the right way to do it, breaking the news to Eve won't be exactly easy and the overwhelming emotions she is met with are maybe too much to handle.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Apprentice/Muriel (The Arcana), Original Female Character/Original Male Character, Vulgora (The Arcana)/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Fear of forgetting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The_Thrid_Rule">The_Thrid_Rule</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkDoomz/gifts">DarkDoomz</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>*** MURIEL ROUTE SPOILERS***<br/>I didn't actually play his route, I just heard about what happened to my beetle baby via social media so I pieced together a scenario for Eve finding out her snuggle bunny is no longer.<br/>This is incredibly non-canon and I'm totally aware I just needed to mourn them. They're my absolute favorite Arcana character and this news has destroyed me. So I wrote angst.<br/>So real quick, I need to give credits to my friends for allowing me to use their characters.<br/>Sebastian, Sullivan, Sallow and Delaney belong to, a good friend of mine who happens to be named Delaney! You can find her content on Instagram under the username @notsohidden_arcana_headcanons.<br/>Aija however belongs to an amazing friend of mine named Lynn who goes by @vesuvian_nights_ on instagram.<br/>_________________________________________________<br/>I thank them immensely for the support and if you'd like to continue to mourn with me we're holding a funeral on Instagram on @vulgorasbigstinkyslut !!<br/>_________________________________________________<br/>I love you all and I thank you for letting me just get all my emotions out and write something angsty and sad.<br/>Oh and yes,, I gifted this work to people who support me,,, what about it?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>An uneasy tension lingered in the air, Rosaline sighed, her hands trembling as she continued to try and restock the shelves, an undeniable pit forming in her stomach as an aggravated sigh slipped past her.</p><p>The room was silent as they pondered the best way to go forward. The next best step to take. The only noise was that of Rosie pushing things onto the shelf, Aijas legs swinging, Sallow pacing back and forth and Muriel's fingers tapping against the wall.</p><p>"We can't keep it from her. It's not fair." Rosaline said softly as she turned around, facing the other six lingering in the shop.</p><p>"Yeah but...how do you intend to tell her...she's going to go absolutely wild on Muriel and try and have him killed," Aija responded, her nail digging into the skin on her wrist.</p><p>Rosaline's face fell, "I-I know but...if it were one of the twins, wouldn't you wanna know? I'm sure you wouldn't want to be alone...or to find out through work...or to be oblivious to the fact they're...you know."</p><p>Aija's dark eyes lifted from her lap and over to the twins, their joyful deminer was gone. Fortunately, during their time as a member of this little family, they'd picked up the skill of reading the room.</p><p>"You're right..." Aija replied sadly, swinging her legs slightly as they dangled off the counter.</p><p>"I didn't do anything though..." Muriel muttered, slinking to the floor quietly, his back pressed up against a wall.</p><p>Rosaline's gaze shifted to the mountain man, her heart shattering, "I know you didn't but...I-...again, I'm not Eve but I have spent quite an abundance of time around her and...I-I can tell you she's going to try and pin the blame on someone just out of emotion...you've got to remember, They're her world...they we-...I-" Rosie sighed, seeming to choke on her words as she tried desperately to put herself in Eve's shoes.</p><p>If she ever lost Sallow, she wouldn't stop loving him...no matter if he were alive or not.</p><p>"They mean so much to her and I think it's better she find out from us than through Nadia or something...." She finished, a lump forming in her throat as she thought about how badly it would destroy her if she lost the love of her life.</p><p>Delaney sighed, looking up from the floor, "If I lost you, honey, I'd rather know from my friends and have them with me than to find out alone or for myself..." She said, exchanging a look with Muriel.</p><p>A gentle smile flickered on his face before he looked down, "I just-...I don-t...I never meant for this to happen..."</p><p>"Where is Eve anyway?" Sallow questioned, stopping to face Rosaline, "Last I knew Keegan had a drag show that she was going to go see...she felt bad about missing so many and Keegan claimed he had updated the show so she wanted to go see the new version." Aija responded before Rosaline could get a word out.</p><p>"That," Rosie replied softly, her gaze falling to the floor.</p><p>Sallow nodded, "mmm, I see...anyone knows when it's ending?" He questioned, glancing at Aija as she seemed to have all the answers tonight.</p><p>Aija glanced at the stopwatch sitting beside her, "Fifteen, twenty minutes?" She replied, "It'll take her fifteen to get back outta the red market and to their estate so...ya know...maybe a few extra minutes considering everything going on." She replied quietly, looking over at Rosaline.</p><p>The room was silent again, it was the time someone was supposed to jump in and volunteer to go collect her.</p><p>"....If no one is going to volunteer than I'll go...I'm gonna catch her when she leaves the red market and...I dunno...maybe I'll take her to the pond and tell her? Should I bring her back here?" Rosaline stated, not wanting to dwindle on this any longer.</p><p>Aija sighed, "Yeah...bring her back here, I'm gonna suggest that Muriel and Laney head upstairs and stay outta sight...just...safety ya know?" Aija responded, her voice a little shaky, "I'll go with you...we'll catch her and bring her back here and just...take care of it...ya know?"</p><p>Sallow nodded to the plan, "I agree...if anything happens, I'm here and..." He glanced over his shoulder at the twins, sighing quietly, "I'm here." He repeated.</p><p>Rosaline swallowed her fear, setting the few jars down on the counter and already heading for the door, an undeniable sickness flooding her stomach as she tried desperately to settle herself down enough to look calm.</p><p>"Sallow honey, make sure Delaney and Muriel get upstairs and...that we keep Eve down here..." Rosie pleaded softly, gently approaching her love and taking his hands in hers. "Please..?"</p><p>Sallow gave her a firm nod and her hands a tight squeeze. "I will my love, count on it."</p><p>Rosie gave a gentle nod in response, letting go of his hands and turning to Aija, "Well...you ready?"</p><p>Aija swallowed, nodding her head as she peeled herself off the counter, "Yeah...let's uh- let's get this over with..."</p><p>Though overwhelmed with anxiety and fear, Rosie approached the shop door, pulling it open and holding it for Aija, letting her out first before closing it behind herself.</p><p>The colosseum was in sight and god did Aija want to puke looking at it. Especially because she just knew how awful this would get.</p><p>Rosaline's feet felt like they were the heaviest weights in the world as lifting them felt impossible, it felt gross.</p><p>"Do you feel sick?" Aija asked, approaching the Colosseum, her skin layered in goosebumps.</p><p>Rosie nodded her head, "Incredibly...I feel so disgustingly sick it's-I may actually be sick..." Rosie responded, sniffling as they continued to worm their way through the crowds of people on the street.</p><p>Aija didn't respond, instead, she just followed behind Rosaline, attempting to just hurry up and move this along.</p><p>The memory of Delaney and Muriel barging and Delaney's unconsolable sobs as she tried desperately to explain what had happened. It was...sickening.</p><p>The Colosseum was drawing closer and closer and it seemed people were leaving already, which meant at any given minute, Eve would show up and they'd have to tell her.</p><p>Rosaline watched, trying to remain calm but, that was proving to be difficult.</p><p>Aijas eyes watched each person emerge until finally, she saw her. The palace Censor.</p><p>"Eve!" Aija exclaimed, seeming to grab both Eve and Rosaline's attention.</p><p>"Oh...hey!" Eve exclaimed warmly, jogging her way over, "You guys missed his show! Absolutely worth missing the masquerade for!" She exclaimed warmly, "Fortunately for me, all I gotta do is go get changed and then find my snuggle bunny!" Eve said brightly, a bright smile decorating her face.</p><p>It only made Rosaline's heart sink deeper, "Eve...listen, we need you to come back to the shop with us...there's something we gotta tell you..."</p><p>Eves smile fell, concern seeming to take over her face, "Uh oh...something happen?" She asked nervously, looking between Aija and Rosie.</p><p>Rosaline tried to get words out but couldn't and rather quickly, Aija took over.</p><p>"Yeah...something really serious happened and we need to talk about it back at the shop."</p><p>Eve's concern only seemed to grow, "If it's so serious why can't you tell me now?" She asked, hopeful to finally get some answers as to what was going on.</p><p>Aija sighed, "Just--What we have to tell you is extremely serious and we need to make sure you're in a safe place when we tell you okay?"</p><p>"Did something happen to Vulgora?"</p><p>The words caught Rosaline off guard--even though they shouldn't.</p><p>"...just, let's go..." Aija said, taking her hand and guiding her back towards the shop, Rosaline following behind.</p><p>Eve's nerves were through the roof. Were they hurt? Did they get arrested...again?</p><p>As they approached the shop once more, Aija pushed open the door, pulling Eve along behind her and gently Rosaline shut the door.</p><p>Eve looked around, no sign of Vulgora which lead her to believe that once again they had gotten into trouble with Nadia.</p><p>Sallow had found himself a corner and intended to let the girls take care of it.</p><p>His intentions were to step in only if necessary and fortunately the twins had made their way upstairs, staying out of this whole mess.</p><p>"Eve...I think it best if you sit down." Aija said softly, motioning to the stool Sebastian had been sitting on.</p><p>Eve shook her head, her arms folded across her chest "Nah if they got arrested again, I gotta go talk to Nadia and get them outta trouble...we got cakes to eat."</p><p>Rosaline glanced across the room at sallow and then at Eve, "Eve...Vulgora...they didn't get  arrested."</p><p>Eve snickered, "Oh..so this must not be related to Vulgora right?"</p><p>Aija  sighed sadly, "Unfortunately, it is..." Her stomach in knots as it was growing closer and closer. Having to tell Eve the horrific things that happened to them.</p><p>The expression on Eves's face was confusion. "...so if they didn't get arrested then what happened? Did they get hurt? Are they at the estate?"</p><p>Rosaline felt the lump forming in her throat as she shook her head no, "Eve-" Rosaline sniffled as she caught the young censors' attention, "Vulgoras....they-...there is no easy way to tell you this love and I am so sorry it has to be this way but...Eve, Vulgoras...they're dead..." She explained gently, watching for Eves's reaction.</p><p>Eve stared at her before snickering, "N-No they aren't...that's not possible. Their immortal..duh-"</p><p>Rosaline's heart sank even further, "Eve...they...they...they didn't die here...they died in the other realm..."</p><p>Eve's face dropped completely, her skin going white as shock overcame her. "T-They're gone...? A-and we can't bring them back?"</p><p>Aija nodded sadly, "Eve I'm so sorry..."</p><p>Eve's breathing grew heavy and unsteady, her eyes filled with tears and a gut-wrenching, helpless whimper slipped past her lips.</p><p>"No-No they can't be gone...the-they can't be-Aija do something!" Eve demanded, turning to face her friend, "Do something! Please! D-Do something magic and and bring them back! Aija please!" Eve pleaded, the tears seeming to overflow her eyes and start pouring down her cheeks. "Please..."</p><p>Aija felt her own tears start to boil up, her hands clasped together in front of her as she shook her head, "Eve I- there's nothing I can do...I can't bring them back..."</p><p>"Try!" Eve snapped, "You haven't even tried! Aija you've got to try!"</p><p>Before Aija or Eve could get another word out, Rosaline spoke up, "She did try Eve...before we even told you about this...she tried to bring them back here so that we wouldn't have to go through this..."</p><p>That was such a lie, but, Eve was on the verge of getting physical with Aija and this whole situation wasn't her fault.</p><p>Eve stared at Aija, "who was there?" She demanded, her hands curling into fists, "Please...tell me who was there...I-I need answers!"</p><p>Rosaline's sad eyes turned to Sallow, a slight sense of fear overcoming here before gently responding, "uhm...Laney and Muriel."</p><p>"Where are they?" Eve asked, her voice cracking as a full-blown sob slipped past her. The pain that ran through Eve's body was immense. It felt paralyzing. It felt like someone was standing on her chest and she couldn't breathe right. It felt like the faucet behind her eyes had been turned all the way on and the tears wouldn't stop. It felt like hell.</p><p>Aija was about to tell her that they weren't here but Delaney emerged from upstairs, "I'm here..." Delaney said, looking down at Eve, her heart racing as Eve turned around to face the stairs, "...tell me you tried Delaney...tell me you tried to save them..please, I'm begging you Laney...tell me! Tell me!!" Eve screeched as she tried to take a step forward but her legs gave out, causing Eve to fall to her knees on the hard wooden floor. Rosie rushed over to Eve, a hand gently resting on her shoulder, "Are you okay?" She asked quietly, but Eve didn't reply.</p><p>"Tell me you tried to save their life!! Tell me Laney! Tell me you didn't just let them die!! Please!" Eve Screeched, helpless sob screams escaping her.</p><p>Rosaline looked up at Laney and then over at Sallow, he seemed like he was about to step in but Rosaline shook her head no. She was in shock. She was grieving and mourning. She needed to scream and cry and sob.</p><p>as tears formed in her own eyes, she nodded, "I tried Eve...Muriel and I tried so hard. We tried to save them but we couldn't..."</p><p>Eve's body was trembling and her breathing was so heavy and uneven. "N-Next question-" She choked out "Did they suffer?!" She asked, tears falling from her face and into her lap, her chest rising and falling so unevenly as she awaited Delaneys' response.</p><p>"Oh Eve...I-I..." Delaney hesitated for a moment, needing to take a deep breath, desperately trying to collect herself enough to respond.</p><p>It put Delaney in such an uncomfortable position. She didn't know if she should lie or if she should tell her gently or if she should avoid the question or if she should be blunt.</p><p>Delaney swallowed hard, gripping the railing of the stairs as she gently nodded her head. "I-I want to tell you that they didn't but they did..." She said sadly, almost immediately regretting her decision.</p><p>The strained, helpless sob that left Eve was the most gut-wrenching sound Eve had made all night. Rosaline gently wrapped her arms around Eve in an attempt to comfort her. "Honey....I'm so sorry..." She whispered, trying to console the distressed Censor.</p><p>"H-How?" Eve asked, the tears clouding her vision so badly she couldn't really make out Delaney standing on the staircase.</p><p>Delaney bit down on her lip before responding, "T-The water...they....Eve, you won't believe me but I swear to you...hands...ghastly hands emerged from the water and- they wrapped around them...around th-their mouth and their throat and their eyes and they- they dragged them under..."</p><p>Eves sobs got harder and harder, her hands ached, a painful trembling took over and quickly her breathing got out of control."Eve- Eve honey, Eve breathe." Rosie cooed, trying to soothe her hyperventilating friend.</p><p>"Eve sweetheart, you gotta breathe...please breathe you're gonna make yourself sick..."</p><p>Eve tried so hard to calm down, she was trying to get a grasp on her breathing but she couldn't. It felt like those same hands were wrapped around her throat, her mouth, her nose, and her chest. She felt unable to breathe.</p><p>"I-I can't breathe--I can- I can't breathe Rosie...I can't breathe..." She choked out, leaning against Rosie as she sobbed helplessly.</p><p>"Shhh, you're talking Eve, you can breathe...in your nose...out your mouth, deep breath...deep breath," Rosie said quietly, trying to soothe her as much as possible.</p><p>Eve continued to repeat that phrase, claiming she couldn't breathe and Rosaline continued to tell her she could. That she'd be able to breathe once she calmed down.</p><p>It seemed as though Eve had reached her high, the hyperventilating, the screaming it all seemed to start slowing down. Though her breathing was still trembling and uneven, Eve was starting to calm down.</p><p>"And I wasn't there...I wasn't there...I wasn't there to protect them...we pro- we promised each other that we'd always protect each other and I wasn't there." Eve cried, her soaked cheek resting on Rosie's shoulder.</p><p>"It's not your fault Eve...it's not your fault this happened honey...the world is cruel and...I'm sorry- I'm so so sorry..." She replied gently, looking up at Delaney sadly, feeling genuinely heartbroken for Eve and Delaney.</p><p>"I failed...I failed my baby...I failed them...we won't get married...we won't get to have children...my baby is gone..." Eve sobbed, "I...I'm not going to get...to hear their voice...or their laugh or...I-" Eve sniffled, her hands trembling as she spoke "I'll never get to hold their hands...or kiss their cheeks or...hear...or hear them snore in my ear...I'll never get to trace their tattoos or rub their shoulders ever again...I-I'll never run my fingers through their hair or scratch their horns or kiss their ear ever again...My Vulgora...my baby is gone and...and I'll never get to tell them I love them ever again...."</p><p>Rosaline sniffled, holding Eve extra tight, "But remember those things...remember their laugh and their voice...remember their smile and the way their hands felt in yours...remember these things Eve." She cooed, "Remember them. Remember Vulgora in a positive way Eve."</p><p>Eve whimpered softly, "But...But Rosie..." She choked out, looking up at her sadly, "What-What if I forget? What if I forget their laugh...what if I forget their voice? I don't wanna forget." She cried, the sobs picking back up almost immediately as she leaned back into Rosaline's embrace.</p><p>"Oh honey...you won't...you won't forget...look at me, honey..." She whispered, gently turning Eves chin up to face her.</p><p>"Vulgora may not be here physically...but, they're always with you emotionally. They'll always be a part of you. They'll show their spirit when you least expect it...and you'll know it's them...you'll know it's the love of your life trying to show you they're with you." Rosaline cooed softly, hopeful her words were comforting.</p><p>"Trust me...Vulgora made an impact on your life and...they'll continue to do so...they'll continue to be with you...maybe not physically but their spirit...their fire...it will be."</p><p>Eve didn't have words and instead leaned on Rosaline and continued to cry.  The emotional pain stabbing her was undeniable and unbearable.</p><p>Aija sniffled, leaning against the counter as she listened to Eves helpless cries. Delaney looked at her father and then Aija, bringing a hand up and drying a few stray tears, she turned, heading back upstairs, breaking down once she was up there.</p><p>Rosaline shifted slightly as she felt Eves hand come up, resting gently on her own chest. "Eve...?" Rosie asked, leaning back slightly to see what Eve was holding, honestly somewhat afraid she was on the verge of passing out or vomiting.</p><p>"Whatcha got...?" Rosie asked softly, looking down.</p><p>Eve lifted her chin, her fingers seeming to turn something over and over in her hand. "I-it's the necklace Vulgora gave me this morning...they-they wanted me to wear it to the masquerade tonight." Eve whimpered, looking up at Rosie, "It's the only one like it in all of Vesuvia..." She said sadly "A-And they had it made for me..."</p><p>Rosie sniffled, "May I see it?" She asked, watching Eve pull her hand away from the charm, it falling back against her chest. </p><p>The bright red color of the charm contrasted so wonderfully against Eves purple top, "I-It didn't match my outfit...but I didn't care...it was red...and their color is red...and it- it was so everyone knew we were in love.."</p><p>Rosie sighed softly, offering her gentle advice once more. "You're still in love...just because they aren't here means you stop loving...keep loving them Eve..love them forever..." She whispered softly, "They lived loving you and I know they died loving you." She whispered, a tear running down her cheek as Eve sniffled again, nodding her head sadly.</p><p>"I am...I still love them...and-and I always will..."</p><p>Rosaline swallowed the lump in her throat, nodding her head "Good. Always love them. Love them till your spirits and souls are reunited..." She whispered, giving Eve a gentle nod.</p><p>The room was silent for a moment before Eve inhaled deeply, her breathing had calmed down, her tears were slowing and the immense headache was coming on from crying and screaming so much.</p><p>"I-...I think I'm ready now..." She whispered, "I need some rest...my head hurts and...I just-" Eve said, gently trying to stand up to the best of her ability.</p><p>Rosie glanced at Sallow, "Do you want me to stay with you? I...I really don't want you alone Eve...especially in...in the estate." She said softly, but Eve shook her head, "I need some alone time...thank you though...thank you for taking care of me..."</p><p>Rosie sighed softly, taking Eve's hands and helping her to her feet. "...at least let us walk you back...please..." She pleaded softly, looking over her shoulder at Aija and then over at Sallow. "If you fall and can't walk, Sallow is the only one who could carry you...I love you Eve but, I'm not that strong."</p><p>Eve shivered, nodding her head sadly "Okay..." She whispered, sniffling again as she tried to dry her stray tears.</p><p>Rosie gently took Eve's hand, "I want you to know that I'm here for you okay? If you need me, you know where to find me..." She whispered, "We can talk. We can write. We can garden. We can do whatever you need to grieve okay?"</p><p>Eve gave a nod in response, hair falling in her face as she did. Aija gave a quiet sigh as she stepped aside to let Eve, Rosie, and Sallow through.</p><p>Rosaline's steps were gentle as she guided the heartbroken girl out of the shop and into the night.</p><p>While others would spend their night at the masquerade, celebrating. Laughing. Talking. Eve would be home, grieving the loss of her love.</p><p>"...If you see Nadia...please, just tell her I got sick...that I wasn't well and needed to stay home for a few days...or if you think she can handle the truth, go ahead...I don't care anymore..." Eve whispered sadly as she walked, the estate coming into view.</p><p>"We will..." Rosie replied, "We'll let her know you got sick..." She responded, the large gate coming into view.</p><p>Eve sniffled once more as the three had reached the estate, stopping outside the large black gates.</p><p>"Eve..are you absolutely positively sure you want to be alone?" Rosie asked, tilting her head slightly but Eve was quick to reply. "Yeah...I need to grieve alone..." She whispered, giving a nod. "Thanks for uh...for everything Rosie...I'll see you in a few days." Eve finished, turning on her heel and heading toward the front door, already heading inside.</p><p>Rosaline watched Eve sadly, turning back to Sallow. "That poor girl...my heart aches for her..." Sallow nodded, gently taking Rosaline's hand. "I know my love...I know...perhaps...maybe Aija can find a way to bring them back...just maybe..."</p><p>Rosie sighed, "Even if it's their body...maybe that would give Eve some closure..." She said quietly, fumbling with her fingers nervously. Sallow nodded, "Ideally, she'd bring them back alive...but you may also have a point...perhaps giving  her closure would...be helpful...a chance to say her goodbyes for real..." Rosaline replied, a shiver running down her spine.</p><p>"...I'm guessing you'd rather not return to the masquerade tonight hmm?" He questioned, offering her his arm.</p><p>Rosaline shook her head no, "No...definitely not...let's uhm- head back to the shop...I think Delaney could stomach some venting time..."</p><p>The two turned away, leaving the estate and the heartbroken Censor to mourn her lover.</p><p>Alone.</p>
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